


The Commander's Purpose

by GrizzlyWaterFrame



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Any LI, Colonist (Mass Effect), Multi, Sole Survivor (Mass Effect), ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 20:37:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17815097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrizzlyWaterFrame/pseuds/GrizzlyWaterFrame
Summary: The memories and final moments of Commander Shepard. *Not gender specific & any LI applies





	The Commander's Purpose

**Empty. Alone. Scared.**

Those are the three things that embodied how I felt as I watched the slavers kill my family, my friends, my _home_. One minute I was content, living a fulfilling life at the time, not a care in the world. The next minute, I watched as my own mother and father were ruthlessly gunned down by batarians. I couldn’t even begin to understand why I was left standing, why _I_ , was one of the few to survive the raid on Mindoir. Everything I knew was gone. Leaving me asking, _what is my purpose?_

**Empty. Alone. Scared.**

That is what I felt as I watched my second family, my team, my brothers and sisters, get slaughtered by thresher maws on Akuze. You are prepared to face the hardships and losses when you become a marine, but no amount of preparation can fill the hole in your heart, or the scars in your mind as you watch the ones you care for die a death that they didn’t deserve. You never forget watching your brother in arms being burned alive by the acid that was spewed from the mouths of the beasts. Hearing the screams as their guns and armor do little to prevent the inevitable. Once again, everything I knew was now gone. Leaving me asking, _what is my purpose?_

**Empty. Alone. Scared.**

I couldn’t fight these familiar feelings as I drifted in space. Everything appeared to be dark, however, I still don’t know if that was from the dark atmosphere I was in or my own vision creeping to a close as my heart slowed its beating. I’ll never forget the hissing noise my suit made as oxygen leaked out from cracks in my suit caused by the pressure and the explosion. Suddenly, everything felt very cold. _Is this what my mother felt as she took her last gasps of air on Mindoir? Is this what my comrades- my brothers and sisters- felt while their bodies were crushed by an indomitable force?_ I let the darkness enclose me since it brought along a warmth that I was yearning for. 

What felt like just moments later, I opened my eyes as a distant voice called out my name. Then the memories washed over me; the memories of my own death.

_“I don’t know, Commander. It’s been two years. They’ve moved on.”_ Jacob had said in our first encounter as I inquired what had happened to my crew on the Normandy. Just as before, everything I knew was gone. I was brought back to life, only to find out that my old life was gone. _What is my purpose?_

**Whole. Complete. Content.**

This is what I feel as I prepare to make the ultimate sacrifice. I can feel my old friend, Death, creeping up on me, and I know that I only have moments to spare to finally end the war that feels like it has been going on for a lifetime. The fact that I am at the point of death is not my only motivation, because after years of living -no- _surviving,_ I finally have something, _someone,_ to fight for. Someone who deserves to live out the remainder of their days in a world that is at peace and not ravaged by chaos and destruction. Someone who deserves to wake up every morning and smile, since together we ended all of the death and darkness, for I surely could not have made it this far without them. Someone who deserves the chance to find happiness and love again, even after I am gone.

As I walk towards my fate, I check to make sure my final message has been sent to the one who deserves so much.

_“Thank you for giving me purpose.” -Shepard_

**Author's Note:**

> So I barely write anything ever but in the middle of my current ME playthrough, I was feeling inspired to write something. Hopefully, you didn't think this was complete trash ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯. I intended this to be a Miranda x Shepard fic because (although I love all ME relationships equally) I feel they are very underrated. As you can see that didn't end up happening so why not just let all LI's in on the fun.


End file.
